Richard and his sister.

We were met by a young girl. Pitch black tousled hair, equally sooty rings encircling her eyes, blank white faced, ruby lipped Punk Goth. Torn, stained, grubby, torn ‘T’ shirt, skinny black jeans polished at the knees and arse, she was quite comfortably wrenching the cylinder head from a six cylinder block. She beckoned Richard who emerged from the dark recesses of the railway arch. He looked a sight in his complimentary oil stained pin stripped suit. A tall man, possibly only in his mid thirties, offering a warm, a cheery greeting. Glancing around for the first time we realised that we were surrounded by stacked wrecks of cars, various engine and body parts, rotting interiors, worn tyres, peeling, bruised wheels, all partly submerged in the pitted muddy yard. There was no semblance of order, certainly not the Aladdin’s cave of riches that I had imagined from the phone conversations coupled with the beautifully graphic illustrations in ‘Triumph Monthly’. Chris naturally responded negatively, the trauma of city hustle; the prospect of dealing with a ‘scrap man’ instead of a genuine spares supplier was not a positive healthy combination.

Richard proudly presented the chassis, which was by no means ‘mint’. We examined a selection of other ‘mint’ chassis’s along with other ‘out of the box’ parts, all of which were shite. The other components, the re-conditioned ‘diff’, complete front suspension unit and the gearbox proved disappointing. ‘Hammerite’ rust preventative paint can hide a multitude of sins. I felt a definite change from being cheerfully optimistic, idealistically eager to a mood that was rapidly turning to despair

First encounter of the third kind.

Search Amazon.com for Richard of YorkRichard would be the first of many eccentric characters we would encounter throughout the project. the first and one of the most memorable.

During the previous evening David had kindly offered his Transit van to pick up the chassis from Sheffield in addition to all the other missing parts that we may or may not procure. We travelled over the county boundary to Yorkshire using a typically over detailed route planner, the consequence of which was that we found ourselves lost in the centre of Sheffield. Chris reacted swiftly by quickly lifting the drawbridge to conceal his discomfort. Appalled by the geometric jumble of 60’s glass and steel, intermingled with Victorian Civic pride the centre exemplified the usual hotch-potch of compromise. Town planners notoriously rarely hit the mark when it came to inner city re-development. Transport infrastructure issues were hardly considered which meant that every form of travel had to fight vigorously for its own corner. The trams, buses, taxis, bikes, pedestrians all would have their turn to scrap for the right of way. A compatible, worthy, proud  mixture of post modern shoulder to shoulder with traditional will always be a difficult deed to achieve, even more so in South Yorkshire. 

We finally found the Hilton Hotel, this landmark being the marker for the ‘Spitfire Graveyard’. We had weaved through the city streets descending cautiously toward the old railway viaduct. Just as every traveller in the world has ever done, we parked up to I ask directions from a one of the businesses located in the arches. Coincidently, this happened to be directly next door to former premises of the ‘Graveyard’. It also had the directions to the new place painted on the wall so that new visitors couldn’t fail but to notice it. There was no need for an exchange of words as the fag smoking, greasy engineer pointed to the sign simultaneously scratching his head ponderously. Three hundred metres down the street we eventually found Richard’s place. 

Friends of the Oak

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Down at the Oak the troups had gathered, even Toby Jug. He must have skin like a Rhino after the insults he’d suffered, the day before. The conversation gravitated toward ‘Cold calling’ and how very annoying it can be. David, who needs a cat nap in the afternoon, due to his unusual working hours, led the first attack by relating that on many occasions, he had been disturbed, by an unwanted call from a double glazing or mobile telephone salesperson. Woken from vital sleep David would strike, like a wounded animal, launching into ruthless verbal abuse. Chris added another similar story by informing the group that once having phoned me, albeit in an Indian accent, he was frostily greeted by ‘Just, fuck off’.

 I had not recognised his voice but I had been, in the past, pestered to death by cold calls from Bombay to ‘upgrade’ my phone. I had become quite accustomed to giving them short shrift by a brief, yet succinct “F”off. I must change my response to these poor ‘tele sales’ people, after all everybody needs to make a crust.

Chris has finally discovered his ‘out of date’ passport so that Jo can fill in the relevant spaces in order to become ‘international man’. He also admitted that Danny has been reeled into the Beaujolais run as support vehicle. I am sure that it has not crossed his mind that, incidentally, he can blast the balls off his 820CSi on the French autoroutes. Chris may also find the comfort and speed of the CSi too tempting to refuse and may possibly forego the prospect of freezing his nuts off in the Burlington.

Just as we were leaving the Oak I noticed in the office a sticky roll of paper with a selection of human hair, which apparently had been sourced from different areas of the body from both males and females. (The office is the area in the Oak where the memorabilia from holiday trips, world travels, projects, the ism’s of pertinent and relevant, bad, tasteless photographs, Bushism’s and other curiosities are arranged then duly posted). Apparently, these hairy trophies were acquired on Saturday night from various visitors to the pub, who inadvertently had wandered into the madhouse. I did ask the purpose of this bizarre collection of hair but no one could offer an explanation.

We returned home to finalise the details of our working holiday in France. 

Richard of Sheffield

Search Amazon.com for Triumph partsMon.03.04.06. I phoned Richard to confirm that we would organise transport for Tuesday afternoon and requested, because of the extent our order, that he should offer some kind of discount. He duly, promised to give us a ‘good deal’. 

As agreed, I had earlier retrieved the nose cone and rear near side wing from Gordon’s paint shop, the missing pieces for the dry build up. Chris had been very busy in the morning fitting the offside rear wing then continued tidying the cockpit area. The problem of fixing the engine panels has taken another twist as Chris is not convinced that a full panel, seamless to the tub, would almost certainly crack after painting and assembly, purely because of constant vibration. I feel that this will be an ongoing niggle that will return to cause us headaches. Another possible solution to the ‘bonnet’ fastening theory could be the reversal of the holding strip. This could be fixed to the actual bonnet using the male and female studs to locate it to the engine panels, finally secured by ‘Duz’ bolts.

 By late afternoon we had completed the dry build and began to address many of the minor surface defects that had become increasingly apparent on the wings. Once ironed out, the finished result would improve the cars’ appearance dramatically. Regrettably, I had earlier received a ‘yellow card’ because I had forgotten the camera to record the build. I must confess that it was a significant day for photographic evidence, capturing the many changes as the build progressed was noteworthy. But, I can’t remember everything. 

The first of many shopping lists

The adventure into the unknown has begun. Our first meeting within the strange world of specialist 'bits for cars'. The entire market is bursting with eccentrics, honest anoraks but also, thieving 'ner do wells'.

Sun.02.04.06. Dave Brown visited the workshop today to finalise how the dashboard could be constructed, suggesting also different techniques of covering the outer edges of the cockpit. The engine side panels are totally rotten and will also have to be freshly made (Oh shite, I am using another motor trade term, ‘fresh’. This phrase is used to describe an older vehicle that is in pristine condition both internally and externally, it has formidable service history as well as provenance: it is said to be ‘out of the box). I am fast metamorphosing into ‘Swiss Tony’. A Burlington is like a beautiful woman, 27 years together, running sweetly for 10 years but then the make-up begins to fade,  the skin blister, the chassis corrodes, the suspension sags and the tyres leak. A complete strip down is necessary followed by hours of welding, tins of body filler, a new drive train but essentially a packet of Viagra could, perhaps, re-kindle the romance for another 27 years.

Chris relentlessly bombarded Dave with a plethora of data rebounding effortlessly from one puzzle to another. Nevertheless, Dave was obviously impressed with the changes he could already observe compared with his first visit, ten days ago, at the farm. When we left the workshop Dave privately commented on Chris’s eccentric, often manic, behaviour. I simply advised him not to be overly concerned as this was typical furthermore it merely represented his sheer enthusiasm and enjoyment.

We later met in the Oak to discuss how and when we should source the major components from ‘Spitfire Graveyard’ in Sheffield. We had already paid an initial small deposit to secure, a new chassis, a re-built front left and right suspension unit and a reconditioned differential. We have since assembled an even larger shopping list but it remains to be seen whether or not Richard may become the chosen supplier. Nevertheless, we do require many other items; a pedal box with master cylinders, a fuse box, coil, handbrake unit, steering rack and column, wiper motor (possibly Sprite), radiator and fixing brackets, rear brake drums and trunnions, seats (Spitfire?), de-mister shrouds, radius arms left and right, a top end with twin carbs, gearbox slave cylinder, petrol tank (Midget), a set of wire wheels and hubs (Spitfire)..etc..etc….

Re-birth

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Sun.02.04.06. Dave Brown visited the workshop today to finalise how the dashboard could be constructed, suggesting also different techniques of covering the outer edges of the cockpit. The engine side panels are totally rotten and will also have to be freshly made (Oh shite, I am using another motor trade term, ‘fresh’. This phrase is used to describe an older vehicle that is in pristine condition both internally and externally, it has formidable service history as well as provenance: it is said to be ‘out of the box). I am fast metamorphosing into ‘Swiss Tony’.

 A Burlington is like a beautiful woman, 27 years together, running sweetly for 10 years but then the make-up begins to fade,  the skin blister, the chassis corrodes, the suspension sags and the tyres leak. A complete strip down is necessary followed by hours of welding, tins of body filler, a new drive train but essentially a packet of Viagra could, perhaps, re-kindle the romance for another 27 years. 

Even more 'mods'.

Search Amazon.com for steering carsSearch Amazon.com for steering carsWithout realising it would have a knock on effect for further modifications

·      Strengthening the body tub. A reinforced 20mm box section bar, will be situated under the dashboard to span from the right to the left of the cockpit. This will complement the rigidity of the scuttle top and body tub coalescing a supplementary safety feature protecting against side impact.

·      The Steering Column. The original extended steering column will be re-made to incorporate a collapsible centre section establishing enhanced protection from frontal damage. Where the column passes through the bulkhead a ‘sealed bearing’ will be positioned to improve ‘steering movement’.

   

·      The weather equipment. The hood rear fasteners and frame webbing will be reinforced to ensure firmer along with stronger tension. The frame bars and fixing mechanism will be cleaned and galvanised. A chamfered timber beading glued to the top of the boot space will also provide points to fix the hood.

·      Air Flow into the Cockpit. De-mister channels will be cut in the scuttle top. Trunking will be fed from the engine compartment to channel the flow of air acting as a natural de-mister unit.

·      Building up the body panels. There will be a comprehensive dry build of the wings, nose cone, scuttle and central tub before any of the parts are dispatched to the paint shop.

These proposals will elevate the project too much more than a simple re-build or restoration. It has become our ‘concept’. The anticipated changes to the bodywork will dramatically alter the appearance of the vehicle; this together with the modifications to the chassis, suspension and drive train guarantees the transformation of the Burlington into a “proper” car.

Modifications: the beginning.

Search Amazon.com for Data analysisThis is the first attempt at a proposed programme of work. This was destined not to be the last.

·      The re-modelling of the rear quarter panels. The rear section of the front wings must be re-shaped at the point where they meet the back quarter of the body tub and rear wings. The manufacture of the wings was not a precise example of the art of modelling, likewise the body tub. Improved fabrication is essential around this section.

·      The integration of the scuttle to the main body tub. The scuttle will now become integrated into the body tub and not a simple ‘bolt on’ addition. It will be cut down, re-shaped and anchored more securely fitting snugly to the tub. Where the windscreen rests on the scuttle the contour will be built up to encourage a tailored fit. “T” shaped rubber extrusions will be used as a seating agent but will also act as draught excluding material. There will be a new bracket designed and fashioned to fix the screen to the scuttle top.

 

·      Fixing the bonnet to the nosecone and scuttle top. The bonnet will remain centrally hinged but a new method of fixing to the lower edge of the engine panels will be devised. Reinforced shoulders will replace the existing aluminium runners on the top of the engine side panels. These will mirror the corresponding “new build” shoulders on the bonnet. Studs, both male and female, will match up on the bonnet edges and engine side panels together with locking ‘Duz’ clips, which will securely fasten the bonnet. The front and rear undersides of the bonnet will gain a cushioned rubber strip to protect the scuttle top and nose cone from damage. Finally, the central hinge fixing plates will be located in such a way that can be easily removed allowing for greater access into the engine bay for maintenance work.

 

·      Integrating the engine panels to the central body tub. The engine side panels will be incorporated into the tub creating one continuous full panel. This will be achieved by extending the aluminium back edge of the engine panel to fix and lie under that of the central tub, forming a seamless side panel. The joint will be securely strengthened using a combination of PK’s, filler and epoxy bond. Foam will also be injected into the space behind the engine panel and bulkhead to support the enclosed space.

·      Lining the engine compartment. The bulkhead and inner scuttle ‘face’ will be sheathed in 4mm plate aluminium. The shoulder and inner sides of the engine panel will be clad with a lighter 2mm gauge sheet.

  

A new beginning

The project has undergone the stark revelations of a comprehensive strip down. many of the parts must be replaced. But first they must be sourced: a task much more difficult than any of us ever imagined. The following few weeks would set the tone of the entire project.

                                 Burlington Diary April 2006

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Sat.01.04.06. Today has probably been the most influential phase so far. Collectively we have both agreed that the vehicle must not casually be thrown back together. A thoughtful considered approach in all areas governed by, better craftsmanship, superior quality components, a determined attitude reinforced by subtle aesthetic alterations. This was the time for earnest ‘R and D’, research and development. 

The morning witnessed the completion of the final section to be stripped of paint. Haydn’s crude, but effective construction techniques would require a considerable amount of re-working. Initially, tidying the unsightly heads of the various sizes of nut and bolts under the wheel arches in addition to scuttle top was an obvious starting point but there were many other sectors that could be easily made better.

 Colin Brockbank, a former collaborator, had been co-opted to add his considerable input to our existing general thoughts. Much of what he suggested reinforced our intentions, but he was both dynamic and decisive regarding other problems that we had previously identified but had discarded because of the prospective complexities. By the end of the afternoon we had arrived at solid changes that need to be made to enable proper improvements to the car (the term “proper” is used a great deal in the car trade and usually refers to a car being clean, straight, having good history, the overall genuine article: I must be becoming slowly sucked into this murky world of car traders to use the word “proper” in a very bad grammatical and unproper way).

We have decided upon many changes.

Oh shite it's Jo's birthday

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Fri.31.03.06. Oh shite, it is Jo’s birthday and I have forgotten.

We have had a full day on the project freeing all of the remaining components from the car. Most of the paint has now been cleaned off the central tub and with the aluminium shining and polished it is beginning to resemble quite a sexy piece of kit. We have tried to re-fit the side panels and half of the bonnet just to make sure that the modifications will be workable additions, contributing a worthwhile improvement. It is going to be difficult but we must try to implement these changes.

Chris has wholeheartedly embraced the mission, especially now that most of the tedious stripping down has been completed. He admires much of what Hayden Davies had achieved, with this prototype, but also despairs at some of the finished pieces on the car. But with some tapping and nudging, the mistakes and oversights can be rectified. It has been that sort of a day, when looking back there appears scant progress; but the reality is that there will be many more days like this, many hours of work, with superficially only the minimum achieved, but we shall have to come to terms and accept this pragmatic notion.

I returned home late, tired and knowing that I had not bought a card or present for Jo’s birthday. The reception at home was a bit frosty but after a shower and apologies we settled for a Chinese takeaway from Jimmy’s’. I know how to treat a lady. Around 10.00pm Chris phoned to tell us that he was in the garage stroking the Burlington tub and starting his second bottle of wine. He also wanted to sing happy birthday to Jo. She, of course, responded with “Just fuck off”. 

A design change

Having dropped Danny back at Salty Towers we returned to Westmead and began to loosen all the odd bits from the tub before removing the paint: the roll bar, seat belts and other assorted scrap parts. We are constantly revising our approach to the renovation by detailed modification, which should with any luck improve the cars’ appearance and construction. This was one of those moments that may potentially correct an on going problem; the fitting of the bonnet to the engine side panels. I suggested that by using a moulded rubber strip instead of the aluminium extrusion the two components would blend together seamlessly in a much more aesthetically compatible way. Chris enthusiastically agreed, immediately forgiving me for all the mis-sized screws, bolts and general poor workmanship that I had originally, clumsily plus extensively demonstrated on the car.   

For the first time we are torn between working late on the car or going to the Oak as usual.

Arriving at the Oak we were met by Carlos, Hippie drummer Alan and Jimmy the Axe, it is probably very easy to guess why Jimmy is called the Axe, suffice to say it involves his wife and a neighbour, no other detail is required. They were waiting for Andy Lewis, the bass player, before they moved on for their weekly rehearsal of their band, “The Awkward Squad”, again no explanation necessary. Along with various musical instruments they were also laden down with carrier bags packed with Stella and Guinness. They are improving as a band but I would not like to be around towards the end of rehearsal after the drink as kicked in. I would suspect that it may sound like a fire in a pet shop.

The ‘Hamon’ remained on the bar from last night but it was quickly accompanied by cured sausisse, pickles, chillies, olives and cheeses. This is the Doc’s way of pay back to Dave for bringing the ham from Seville as well as giving the guys in the vault an excuse for another splendid social evening grazing on excellent grub. It didn’t take long for the rest of the vultures in the pub to swoop on the tasty pickings. There is one very tall bloke who always claims that he is not very hungry yet still manages to clear any plate. I vividly remember one occasion when he repeatedly returned to scoff a full tray of gambas, with the feeble excuse that, it would be a shame not to consume them whilst they were still hot. My arse, he is just a greedy but polite bastard.  

Ride or repair?

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Thurs.30.03.06. We have had quite a busy day. All the wings have now been stripped and are being finely finished with 600 glass paper. Danny has been co-opted to help move the tub from Marylebone transferring wooden, aluminium structure to the garage at Westmead. We managed to lift the tub into David’s van then placed it on the newly bought adjustable stands ready for the final strip down. Part of this deal also involved Danny taking the BMW to Gordon’s paint shop to have the minor cosmetic faults rectified. He is definitely committed to the car now insisting that the repair work should be top draw, Chris at that point assured Danny that everyone at the paint shop is very professional being ‘ultra’ careful with customer’s cars. After this sincere statement there was one moment of doubt when Chris accidentally stumbled onto the ‘BM’ knocking off the nearside wing mirror. Having forced the mirror back into place Chris related the time when he was visiting Humphrey Moons’ showroom and, again, inadvertently twice damaged the wing mirror on a brand new Rav 4, to which Humphrey responded by asking Chris if he wanted either to purchase the vehicle or merely to borrow the mirror for one of his other vehicles.

 Danny found the story quite amusing but when I told him that the very same day, as Chris was bidding everyone farewell, he backed into an open top MR2 sports car subsequently tumbled in leaving us with the sight of two feet waving in mid air, he wasn’t sure whether to smile or weep