Fabrication

Weds.26.09.07. Louisa, of ‘Woolies’, responded to my mail very quickly by 9.30am, unfortunately she cannot supply the mounting rubber. She did offer the name of ‘Allon White’ who can price the windscreen mounting strip for £13.45, a piece they would directly purchase from Melvyn Rutter. Given this news, I think I need to phone John of Life’s Motors. 

In the meantime, Chris has continued to dismantle the car preparing the way for the tub lift off. 

Thurs.27.09.07. The aluminium panels have been formed but necessitated final adjustments on the car before we could be certain that they had been fabricated correctly. Chris Catterall is very cautious in his approach and very proud of his work so he suggested that bulkhead units should be measured then scribed on the car before the ultimate, permanent fold could be made. Because he had followed the patterns precisely there were some anomalies of fit but nothing that couldn’t be redeemed by gentle filing and shaping. But, as expected, the usual, unsurprising questions had to be answered. “Why has he not cut this one like the other one? He’s cut the slit in the wrong place; that would never make a perfect box; that front panel won’t even slide down!” Finding these faults was all very predictable, so too was, “Listen, listen, I could have done better than that without all that machinery, you know you can’t trust anyone these days!”

I now find all this relentless criticism tiresome, predictably hackneyed. Formally experiencing irritation I now found that my defence mechanism automatically kicks in withdrawing instantly into my black vacuous hole remaining calm, slightly fractious. I have experienced this reaction on countless occasions; the simple fact is that nothing is ever quite good enough unless Chris himself has ‘done’ it, the statement is always shrouded under the guise of, “I’m a perfectionist you see, they used to call me Christine in the trade because I wanted everything just right, like a woman.” Perhaps in the trade they had not in fact heard of the term, ‘sexist, over critical chauvinistic, know all’. Mind you, I don’t think that many in the ‘trade’ would have entered the ‘big word’ contest either. Or, is it I who is the weaker ungrateful shoddy artisan, big on rhetoric, feeble on delivery?

Up until this moment Chris had been beavering away cleaning many of the exposed parts of the chassis. Rubbing away at the creeping rust with angle grinder and 120’s to later re-seal with Hammerite, whilst also, re-routing the choke and accelerator cables, linking the fuel system to the carburettors, re-glassing the steering bearing socket, re-painting the steering rod shaft, cutting the petrol filler cap cavity and re-connecting the hose. Is it just me, or is there something strangely ‘déjà vu’ about all of this ‘re’ stuff?

Campbell's soup

Tues.25.09.07. Chris has begun to strip the car down. He has first, removed all the body panels, wings, bonnet and nose cone followed by the ancillary components of the steering column, suspension turrets, hand brake mechanism and radiator brackets. The tub needs to be removed to tidy all the modifications that had to be undertaken whilst the car was in situ: as a result countless alterations were crudely fashioned require tidying then made good. Certain areas such as the bearing seat for the steering rod needs to be re-glassed, the boot space shaped evenly into a perfect rectangle and the petrol filler access drilled and routed. However, after many of theses components had been removed we began to notice that the rust proofing material that we had laborious applied 12 months ago has already begun to deteriorate rapidly. So much so that many of the new nuts and bolts were severely corroded to the chassis paintwork, in certain sections, was peeling from the box section extending gradually to the outriggers. This could be a major setback to the project. It is difficult to comprehend the extent of the damage, this can only be authentically assessed when the tub has been completely removed, but the prospects aren’t good. If there has been such a rapid acceleration of rust damage whilst the car has been dry, entirely garaged the prospect of external weather influences when eventually the car is on the road is unquestionably very worrying.  

The problem must lie with the products that we have used or our understanding of how the metal components should have been treated when the proofing agents were applied. What ever the solution may be, these areas need, again, to be roughly cleaned by grinding or sanding with 120’s and re-sealed. Bummer. 

“Listen, listen, I’ve told you this before, we’ve gone about this all the wrong way. We should have had lists, been organised, logical. We seem to be re-tracing all our steps over and over again. Instead of completing one job at a time then signing it off we’ve been jumping from one to another getting nothing finished. We’ve wasted so much time, energy and money!” Eureka. 

I have used my free 15mm plywood with the 10mm MDF to cut and assemble the undertrim later being partly shaped using a combination of jig and band saw. The two halves were screwed together making provision for the upper layer to be replaced by the hardwood if the design so required. The lower curve of the trim was created by my new friend, the ‘router’. Nevertheless, the edges and contours necessitate some detail sanding to be entirely acceptable, but the basic form is sound and synchronizes neatly with the solid maple dash. 

Reg Caldwell has proposed a price for the windscreen replacement: £75.00 for a ‘pucka’ laminated kite marked screen or £65.00 for a toughened glass alternative, the former being the agreed offer. During the time in the office I managed to cut a small cross-section piece of the rubber mounting strip to later dispatch to ‘Woolies’ of Peterborough. Hopefully a match can be found.

Down at the Oak the Doc had been in the kitchen preparing to serve up a delightful leek, potato and gorgonzola soup accompanied by a cassoulet of wild beans, chorizo along side ‘Southpork’s’ finest rolled shoulder. One particular customer approved of the victuals so much that he compared the spread to ‘Campbell’s’, the best soup in the world: the only one that can be spread on a pie. Doesn’t this just prove without doubt that Wigan is unquestionably crammed with discerning ‘foodies’.  

Cockney Nick's top Ten Recipees

If you have enjoyed this on going saga of the car build you may be interested in my other blog. It is a long awaited alternative to the endless boring cookery books that have swamped the market for the past 2 decades.
'Cockney Nick's Top Ten Recipees from Awl ova the World' can be found at www.njparr.blogspot.com
Enjoy and spread the word

'Ritchie's Dash

Sat.22.09.07. During the morning using the pillar drill together with the new, but cheap, hole cutting set, the smaller 40mm apertures for the gauges and switches proved not to be the problem but the 86mm ‘tacho’ cavity turned out to be unusually difficult. The wood scorched, the blade badly blunted but one hour later the hole had been cut. The larger 102mm spaces for the ‘speedo’ and the ‘3 way’ clock would be impossible for the inferior blades to penetrate the dense grain of the maple so a different approach was necessary. A jig saw was applied to fashion a slightly smaller cavity which was subsequently followed by a straight edged router bit to mirror the absolute 102mm to create the perfect circle. By the end of the day the blank dash had been drilled plus, provisionally outlined. The peripheral edges need to be tidied and the shoulders profiled but up to now the dash is looking good. This goes to prove that I am capable of sound craftsmanship, but even so, I shall still need to absolve any responsibility for this breathtaking outcome stating that “Hasn’t Richie done a wonderful job of making the dash”. This has been a very rewarding fruitful day; almost as good as the day when Liverpool won the European cup in 2005, Jose Mourinho was sacked as the manager of Chelsea even though he was still prepared to buy his own eggs and Gemma told Jo and me that she was pregnant. 

Mon.24.09.07.The Maple cap which will be the final dashboard facia was accurately clamped to the 4mm plywood template with the shoulders of the instrument holes contoured using the rounded profiled bit attached to the router. The top, bottom and side edges were also similarly shaped to complete the model. An initial sanding using 120’s revealed more of the grain which when sealed should produce a stunning flamed effect: just like a ’59 Les Paul. Because the switch section has been raised slightly it has created a much larger blank space below which now requires a re-think regarding the undertrim. I suspect that a modified design will be necessary to return harmony to both units.

Later in the afternoon I gathered all the lining patterns of the engine compartment, that Chris had worked tirelessly upon, delivering them swiftly to ‘Catterall and Wood’ of Chorley. The pieces will be fabricated in 2mm aluminium becoming the entire interior skin of the engine bay. Chris Catterall is quite painstaking in his approach, if the side panels that he made last year are any indication of the quality of his work, these additional sections should comprehensively enhance this aspect of the car. Their workshop is situated in central Chorley amongst other similar complimentary engineering units. 

Boasting an extremely well equipped generous space, that houses substantial machinery able to bend, shape, weld, fold and form any variety of weight, as well as fabricating assorted types of metal. It has a prosperous order, managed by the two second generation brothers, Chris and Alan. Before the job was accepted great care was taken to check our measurements as well as a thorough understanding of exactly what was required. In the bigger scheme of things ours was a puny insignificant intrusion into their normal working day but I sensed a genuine professional attention to detail together with old fashioned, inherited personal pride. I have no doubt that they would return only the best quality: which, thankfully, does make a pleasant change.    

Close by to the engineering workshop is a wood yard, ‘ACS timber supplies’; knowing that I wouldn’t be subjected to a selection of ‘Meatloaf’s’ greatest hit I decided to purchase the necessary undertrim material from their store. To my surprise I was allowed to wade through the scrap box to find the timber that I needed. I left carrying 3 pieces, all free, with not one ‘Meat’ song to be heard. Result. 

Bailifs

Eviction. Later in the Oak, welled with a degree of satisfaction as to how the week had panned out, I was disturbed by the news that the Doc was about to ‘throw his hand in’ and walk away from the pub. There had been rumours, a dreadful summer, the smoking ban, a claim for compensation from some skanky who had fallen over a crack in the pavement, the pigs had been prematurely murdered, a disastrously expensive wet weekend of bands, regulars leaving in droves because of shite beer, ‘weights and measures’ prosecuting, ‘health and safety’ officers closing the kitchen compounded by the ultimate sickener, Robert Santus had his stag party at the Bowling Green. Not much to worry about really. The Doc, apparently, has not paid his rent for the past 12 months refusing even to negotiate with brewing company. Perhaps, this has some bearing on the case.

The weekend may reveal more?

Bonne Annee

I have recently discovered that I have a substantial number of followers in Russia. So, to my all my comrades I wish you a prosperous and healthy new year. I have also been able to include a facility to translate 'The Burlington Project' into your mother tongue. Thanks for your support, please continue to read and if possible pass on my 'blog' site to all your friends.
Bye the way I am still looking for a possible 'publisher' for the entire story which finally concluded in July of 2011.
Any advice regarding the format of the 'blog' would also be welcome: too much script not enough visual evidence?  

Skills with the router

Fri.21.09.07. I waited patiently for Dave to arrive for my first lesson as to how to safely operate the router. I have never used one before and if nothing else I needed to convince myself that I wouldn’t, accidentally, lose the odd digit or ‘have my eye out’. But as the afternoon was drawing on and Dave had not shown, I decided that with a cautious logical approach even the dumbest person could make this machine function properly. There is always something special about well engineered tools. They are robust, often easier to utilize, importantly, always produce a better finish. So after destroying various scraps of timber my skill level began to improve rapidly. I compared myself to other similar descriptions of tradesmen, such as, a painter and decorator, “If you can piss, you can paint, or a chef, if you can read, you can cook”. I quickly accepted this moment of ‘gestalt’ and began to confidently cut the holes that will house the gauges and clocks. I was using 10mm plywood to simulate the finished piece astonishingly I was frankly amazed as to how straightforward it was to generate the perfect shoulder profile. 

After fitting the instruments I stood back gloating at my triumph. I had applied reason, judgement fortified by meagre experience but I had engineered a professional outcome. I had every right to be pleased. I had flown solo across the sea of doubt to light safely on the other side (pretentious twat).     

But the real bonus came when I discovered Chris had also been working tirelessly on the car. Throughout the week I confess to being somewhat of an ostrich; head firmly buried in the sand, avoiding any serious visit to the workshop. I have assumed that Chris has had another slow week of contemplation waiting for ‘god’ Brockie to consider an appearance, waving his magic welding rod benevolently granting permission for work to commence. But, unbeknown to myself from Monday Chris has been working on the engine compartment preparing the ground for the aluminium skin which will eventually form the exposed surface where the master cylinders, ancillary components and service ‘pipes’ will be located. For this purpose an array of cardboard templates has festooned the workshop all having an essential role, a significant resting place. These will later be precisely cut to be installed creating clean, flat, shiny, planes onto which a colourful mixture of electrical leads, copper pipes and braided hoses will be routed then attached. On Tuesday before these panels can be permanently fixed the crudely hacked access to the clutch slave cylinder has had to be re-modelled subsequently ‘glassed’ to form a larger, neater aperture.  Wednesday,  the wiring loom has also had a good ‘talking to’ being laid out on the length of the car to confirm the exact position of the fuse box, coil and distributor connected later to the corresponding power source. By Thursday the patterns for all the internal aluminium panels have been prepared ready for delivery to Catterall and Wood. Unlike timber or fibreglass which can be easily shaped and moulded, when cutting metal, accuracy is the key word. 

It is essential to produce precise templates from which the engineer can replicate the blueprint faithfully. The slightest miscalculation would require a good deal of work to put right; for this reason the plans must be 100% correct.  Friday saw the pedal box and master cylinders being assembled tested to function properly. It has been quite a task to ensure that all the linkages operate smoothly additionally are easily accessible for the driver.

Justifiably or not I have had my suspicions about Chris’s apparent waning perseverance but he does appear, at the end of the week, to be extremely satisfied with the progress he has achieved. And so have I.