Spider Shaw

                                    Burlington Diary January 2007

Sat.06.01.07. I shall be departing for my winter break on the 11^th. Where possible I shall attempt in the next few days to leave enough in place so that Chris can continue the work. As requested another work schedule has been produced but how much of it will be followed is any ones guess. This is not a complaint, merely an observation based on the fact that every other programme of work has been ignored. I have become accustomed, contentedly to the meandering and repetitive nature of the ‘build’ as this has sensibly promoted a thoughtful, thorough approach. Three forward and two back. En avant. 

Lately, my eating habits have become completely out of control. My ravenous appetite is due to the fact that I have stopped smoking. I now concoct any trivial motive to visit the kitchen to snack upon biscuits, cheese, crisps, bread and left over food, slipping furtively to the lounge with a mouthful of nonsense grub. Jo has warned me repeatedly about this foolish habit but her observations have had very little effect, the result being I am rapidly piling on the weight, subsequently cultivating a giant kench. When Jo asks me to help her with some menial task, that I do not wish to complete, I have taken to threaten her with the response “I’ll go back into the kitchen and eat!”  This is a reference to “Spider Shaw”.  My old friend Ben, from Yorkshire, once spoke of a childhood schoolmate called Spider Shaw who when his mother called him in for tea refused to come in, always wanting to play outside for a little longer. His persuasive argument being that he would ‘pick his nose’ if she didn’t allow him to stay outside. Ramming a finger into his bugle and shouting back to his mother he would audaciously announce, “ast pick” (this roughly translates into, “mama, if you do not permit me to remain outside with my friends I have no option but to excavate my nose, what would you have me do, dearest mama?”). Not wanting her child to develop a pig’s nose she would always relinquish allowing him to stay with his friends. On another occasion the same Spider Shaw had to recite the poem “The jabberwocky” by Lewis Carol, to an assembled school audience. As preparation, reinforcing his confidence, he would continually reiterate silently to himself the title and the author “the jabberwocky by Lewis Carol, the jabberwocky by Lewis Carol”…etc..etc.. Come the hour, Spider eventually strode up to the footlights and proudly announced that he would perform “The Wobberjocky by Ronnie Carroll”. In an instant he had reinforced ‘spider is an arsehole’ bankrupting any chance of credibility within his peers. He continued throughout his entire school career to be the fool that he always had been. 

Chris has been in somewhat of a desperate mood recently, his inability to drive being the main cause of his demeanour. “You know, it used to be my life; I would just love to drive any where, all day, for work or pleasure; rallying, Karting, racetrack or mud road; it was everything. But I can’t do it anymore. Working on Bertie is all I can do now: taking her to bits and rebuilding here over and over again.” His apologetic remarks had the inference that the project was taking an inordinate amount of time because he “wanted and needed it” to be so. The entire exercise has been a therapeutic journey. This, for me also, is as valid a reason as any.   

Clutch doubts

21.12.06. Chris has finished repairing and painting the tub. All the edges have been glassed, tightly sealed from any penetration of water, grim and dirt. The actual underside of the floorpan has been rubbed down to a smooth flat finish. This has taken two coats of Hammerite to protect the surface from weathering. Regular hosing down upheld by annual cleaning should maintain this condition for the life of the tub. 

There is still some concern regarding the flywheel. The suspicion being that Cliff has skimmed far too much from the face of the wheel, which has, in turn, brought into question the ‘travel’ of the clutch. Subsequently I took both flywheels for comparison to Railway motors of Westhoughton to Andy and Eddie. This small but specialist company had been recommended by Alan of Suttons who had previously arranged for the repair work to completed on Danny Brennan’s burnt out BMW 850i clutch. The fault had occurred on the ‘buddy’ trip to Keswick. Whilst accompanied and encouraged by Chris to storm through the pass at ‘Shap’, to test the durability of the clutch, Danny had cooked it. The result was the worst damage to any clutch that Andy or Eddie had ever witnessed. If anyone could give a verdict on our puny flywheel these were the guys. I had been given instructions as to how to find their workshop but I was utterly amazed at the coincidence that would be revealed. Railway motors was once owned by ‘Les’ who, in1980 had been my next-door neighbour and friend. He was the first person to contribute to the car on the ‘first’ build. It was Les, in that very same workshop, who had welded the chassis as well as rebuilding the engine and gearbox. 

It was Les who helped me to push the rolling chassis back up the hill on Wingates lane to the stables at the back of the ‘Dog and Pheasant’ where I continued building the car. It was with Les that I bought a second hand hang glider to enjoy near death experiences from the top of Winter Hill with our clumsy attempts of flying. It was Les who continued to cheat death by falling from his roof breaking his pelvis and both arms, divorcing his wife of fifteen years consequently seeking a new direction by selling the garage to Andy and Eddie in 1981 to become a lecturer of mechanical engineering at Bolton Tech. After expressing astonishment and unquestionable surprise to Eddie about this bizarre, repetitious ‘déjà vu happening’ he nonchalantly shrugged whilst at the same time examining the flywheel. As expected there were tuts, chin scratching accompanied by condescending smiles. “That clutch is fucked and the flywheel is badly grooved” was his judgment. “But the clutch is brand new, out of the box?” I questioned. Of the six retaining bolts only four had been attached which had resulted in the plate sitting unevenly on the flywheel. “By not attaching the mechanism properly, not gradually tightening all six bolts in sequence you have ruined a brand new clutch; in fact your old flywheel is in better condition than the skimmed shitty one!” None of this was really sinking in but it was an all too familiar fairy-tale of poor craftsmanship leading to yet more delays.

I returned to Westmead with the bad news followed by the inevitable worn out discussions about the validity of Eddie’s conclusions. The decision was to make no decision. I think we were both suffering from ‘another fucking problem syndrome’ but also the trepidation of the impending presence of Christmas. We shall see what Brockie has to say?          

22.12.06. The tub has been completed, it is ready to be mounted onto the chassis. The flywheel and clutch remain unassembled.

Flywheel

Fri.15.12.06. Cliff has skimmed a huge amount off the flywheel. The pitting was so extensive and deep that it meant at least 3mm had to be removed. Nonetheless the wheel now has a brand new appearance and will accommodate the clutch with very little unnecessary wear. Chris, in the meantime has assembled the rear brakes, fitted the overdrive box, connected the prop and has begun to rebuild the timing mechanism. Later in the afternoon we turned the body tub to assist in the painting of the underside with Hammerite. We continue to tick over satisfactorily. 

Mon.18.12.06. The ‘tacho’ has arrived from “Europa” at a cost of £114.80. At 80mm it is smaller than the speedo and the four way clock, which are 100m. The time clock is 50mm whilst the vacuum, amps and double water and oil pressure are 40mm. This should make for an interesting retro arrangement on the dashboard. But, all of the ‘fonts’ are not identical but they are very similar. They are all “Smiths”, blackfaced with a silver bezel. Set on a walnut dash they should look the ‘dogs’.

No work has been completed on the car today. Perhaps we are having a Christmas slowdown. 

Component minefield

Weds.13.12.06. Chris has been determined to reinforce the boot space with extra glass and resin. The original construction is a hotchpotch of different materials and methods of build: marine ply, hardboard, angle iron, nuts, bolts, nails, screws, aluminium and glass. These have been brought together subsequently strengthened using fibre matting and resin. The boot space is as a result much more rigid this should prevent any possibility of the adjacent modifications of twisting then cracking due to the natural movement of the rear of the car. “It’s belt and braces but let’s have it right”.

Thurs.14.12.06. I have had another pleasant trip to Paddocks of Chester for some essential components.

Along with the order I also exchanged the clutch. We had formally received a 1500 Spitfire Borg and Beck clutch but only this week have discovered that it does not fit the fly wheel or the input splines on the overdrive box. The clutch is actually 7 inches in diameter having 20 splines on the disc. After speaking with John, who has confirmed that the box is probably out of a MK4 spit, he recommended that we can only fit a 10 spline 6 and half inch clutch. This would exactly match the input shaft and also the flywheel. Because of the extra power from the stage 2 head, twin one and a half SU’s, road race cam and big bore exhaust generates it would be advisable to fit a larger clutch; but this has proved to be impossible as that configuration does not exist. The damage on the flywheel purchased from Max in addition to the badly worn ring gear has persuaded us to use the original wheel. This is, unfortunately, is very badly pitted due to being stood for 15 years. It must be skimmed then polished. 

We were becoming quite dejected having waded through the ‘yellow pages’ being dismissively rejected by all of the engineering shops. Most workshops had not carried out this procedure for many years as a result were not tooled up for such a simple process. ‘Engine Teckniks’ who were the favourites for the job, explained that removing the retaining plugs alone is a mammoth task, they would also need to use another company to skim the wheel. This would be quite expensive probably taking up to at least 7 days. Chris cynically remarked that we were plunged, yet again, into the world of ‘mythical’ bollocks. To prove this, he proceeded to comfortably punch out the plugs as I continued sifting through ‘yellow pages’. Eventually, “Wigan Engine Services” confirmed that they could skim and polish the wheel.

They had moved from the original premises 4 years ago presently having an extensive workshop in Rosebridge; somewhat fortuitously, I had been using a 2002 yellow pages which still had the company listed. Since their recent upgrade they preferred not to deal with the ‘public’ only choosing wisely, to focus upon trade customers. They hadn’t touched an engine for as many years but now specialised in the manufacture of unique, one off engineered parts. They were prepared to do the job as a favour for £20.00. I quickly drove down to their shop and was met by Cliff the owner. Short, stocky with bandy bulldog legs, cropped curly white hair, a battle scarred head and ruddy weatherworn face, horseshoe lip and barrel chest he smiled, examined the wheel. “Aye, no problem, we’ll have it ready tomorrow.

We don’t normally deal with public, they’re usually a bunch of tossers. You build them a brand new engine, they then run it dry, fry the head expecting to bring it back under guarantee. I prefer trade; sound orders, regular work and most importantly, appreciation,” he was blunt, succinct but correct. I hastily returned, that we were, in fact, trade; we were rebuilding a car for a friend, we normally only sell cars within the industry, never to the public for the very same reasons. “Yeah, trying to sound ‘trade’, I agree with you Cliff, they’re all a bunch of tossers”. Smiling shiftily but with a degree of false empathy I left Cliff speeding  back to Westmead with the good news.   

More Tub

Tues.12.12.06. Just when I thought that we had seen the last of the tete dust we are now in our second day of glassing, filling and sanding. The body tub has been inverted onto its other side to enable and facilitate the clean mending of the hidden areas that could not be accessed the previous day. 

Proud nuts, rough glass and general lumps and bumps were removed followed by a generous rubbing down with 40’s. Breathing in the dusty fumes from the old and new glass brought back the endless days in summer when the mammoth task of fixing the windscreen occupied all of our working hours. By early evening most of the preparation had been accomplished leaving only small areas to be filled then rubbed down delicately. The underside of the tub has been transformed from a careless, forgotten ignored element of the car into a precious, polished constituent equal to any other aspect of the vehicle. It has retained its unique combination of remarkably strong, healthy marine ply, rudimentary angle iron and resin based fibre glass, but fabricated, fashioned and honed into a smooth, level plane underpinning the central robust foundation of the body. 

I have spent most of the morning chasing pre-ordered components. Andrew Turner has received the worn out SUs, courtesy of ‘Parcel Force’, so, with any luck he is at present assembling their replacements, Danny will continue priming the front offside wing and bonnet tomorrow, John is tolerantly still accepting the many ‘bolt ons’ that I regularly add to the Paddocks requisition. I have at last located a compatible ‘tacho’ to complete the assembly of instruments that will form the staples of the dashboard. Europa spares have, what seems to be, an 80mm, black faced, silver needled clock with the correct ‘Smith’s’ fonts and appearance (£95.00). Fingers crossed. Regrettably, the proposed electronic ignition system, from ‘SC parts’, that was intended to replace the ‘old fashioned’ distributor mechanism cannot be used as this unit has not been designed for a Triumph 13/60, as such an alternative will need to be sourced. Bummer.

Nonetheless, I feel that the project is slowly yet painfully steadily rolling along once more. Considering the many distractions at this time of year (fuckin’ Christmas) this is an achievement in itself.

Tub and More

Fri.08.12.06. It has been a boring but very necessary day, cleaning and polishing basic components such as the engine front plate (essential when fitting the cam) and the distributor clamp. A big yawn, but somewhat of a buzz knowing that old original parts have once more been rescued.

Mon.11.12.06. The body tub has been turned on its side to assist the cleaning of the underside. The base of the tub is in remarkably fine condition. There were absolutely no areas of damage to the marine ply base, even the edges had not been penetrated by moisture preserving the laminates utterly intact. This was in part due to the fibre glass matting that had been used to wrap the vulnerable extremities of the platform therefore protecting the structure of the timber from both road dirt and the sixteen years of damp storage. Several sponge mats placed on the workshop floor prevented the tub from being damaged throughout the procedure. The base was then washed and scrubbed using first of all petrol followed by 80’s glass paper to eradicate the most stubborn of grime as well as clinging muck. An angle grinder removed the protruding heads of the obsolete nuts plus any other metallic extrusions that formed the untidy parts of the original construction. Unbeknown to Chris whilst he was he was happily grinding away the ferocity of the sparks had accidentally ignited the residual petrol fumes from the earlier cleaning process.

As the flames gradually climbed up to his knees I managed to draw his attention to the fact that he was actually on fire. His tunnel vision by and large prevents him from seeing anything that is below waist level; the flames not being an exception were dancing merrily around his feet before he even noticed. Only leaping to one side was he able to douse the spreading conflagration. I do forget sometimes that Chris does have a real problem with objects that are low down usually outside his field of vision. He is continually stumbling, tripping over ground level objects because he is unable to actually see much of what is on these lower planes. I recall leaving Humphrey Moons showroom on one occasion when Chris, having said his farewells, turned hastily to find himself tumbling headlong into an open topped MR2 leaving his feet waving in the air. Climbing out he then caught the wing mirror with his case almost breaking it from it’s’ fittings. Apologising to Humphrey he then, the second time around, fell clumsily onto the car breaking the mirror clean off. To which Humphrey responded “Chris, if you really want that mirror so badly you might as well take it with you.”

The underside of the tub has cleaned up tremendously well. The rough edges have been smoothed to create a perfectly flat surface which is now ready to take the final coat of Hammerite. Any other square, crude angles will be masked with aluminium to soften the contours to also aid ‘the floor to ground’ aerodynamics. Colin often refers to the significance of ‘air flow’, ‘downward pressure’ and many other racing details but he really can be ‘Billy Bullshit’ at times. 

More puzzles

Thurs.07.12.06. Richie has re-cut the cardboard engine bay panels in MDF. When fixed to the central tub they will facilitate essential fine sanding which in turn should provide a much more accurate template for the definitive aluminium panels. I have rapidly realised that it is absolutely imperative that engineers are provided with only faultless patterns if they are to fabricate exactly what is required; anything less results in imprecise, careless product, as was the case with Andy’s efforts when he attempted to manufacture the engine side panels with poor, inexact blueprints.

Dick had visited Chris around lunchtime for some car business but soon became sucked into the workings of the Burlington engine. Dick is no mean ‘spanner man’ boasting the title of a time served mechanic. But whilst fitting the ‘road race’ cam both he and Chris noticed that the alignment with the cam followers was incorrect, it appeared that either the cam was too long or the locating plate (camshaft to block) needed packing. “Look, Chris, I have always told you this, you are always better off with good old English stuff instead of modern Indian crap. It’s always machined badly and made from shite steel,” was Dick’s perceptive synopsis of the quandary before them. I was therefore required to return to the workshop with the original cam in order to measure the two together. Both seemed identical in length and the puzzle of the discrepancy became even more baffling. Dick lit his pipe, scratched his head, checked the two cams but remained perplexed positively bewildered. He descended into bullshit, “It could be that the locking washer’s too small or the sprocket-camshaft idling plate has worn too thin or maybe it’s just the shim pedestal thrusting at an acute angle; it’s definitely mystifying.” Dick speedily took his leave as well as his defective, flawed analysis, back to Planet Deliverance leaving Chris and I to ponder further. 

Eureka! Chris, eventually, realised that the engine front plate had not yet been fitted to the engine block; this would account for the missing 3 mm. The problem had now been solved. The embarrassment of phoning Max or Phil had been averted, luckily we had saved ourselves from another “If you don’t know what you are doing you shouldn’t be even attempting the fuckin’ job, so leave the fucking thing to the professionals!” 

The fault finding did not stop there. The input shaft of the overdrive box is too large for the clutch that has been purchased. The fly wheel is also not compatible with the clutch as a consequence it will be crucial to first of all, match a clutch to the shaft and secondly match the clutch to a flywheel. This not insurmountable but has caused another hiccup that we don’t need.

Today has been another stark lesson in patience, logic and experience.