A weekend of harmless anoraks

Search Amazon.com for swanker

They also reminded me that this weekend is the “National Kit Car Show” at Stoneleigh in Warwickshire. The last time I was there, in 1981, my Burlington SS had not even been trimmed, but nonetheless I proudly swanked onto the showground expecting heads to turn, this being ‘001’: typically,  none did, bummer. But, unsurprisingly the show remained awash with cobbled up aspirants, unexpectedly fewer concourse cars, freshly groomed sales people without beards but sporting moustaches dressed in chino’s, company ties, blazers with badges, passing around finely produced, boasting catalogues, 100 autojumbles with new and old boxed parts, power and hand tools capable of almost everything, ‘demos’, trials, side shows, country music, burgers and chips. In a nutshell, each and every item that one needs to build their own dream. Chris and I plan a trip down on Sunday to buy thousands of pounds worth of the best gear, but the wings needed finishing so we pressed on.

Mad John, who had been recruited by Chris, was in the Garden trying to rescue some dead plants that David had freely given to Chris last year. I would guess that it was one those crazy drunken bets that often emanate in the Oak after a gallon of Stella probably punctuated by an outrageous claim ‘to revive the decaying foliage where the professionals had failed’. Chris has an obdurate determination to prove the world wrong claiming to be able to achieve the impossible where other lesser beings have disappointed. This futile exercise being a clear example. He desperately needed the advice of ‘green fingered John’ to save some face and plants. By the end of the day John’s prognosis was optimistic. We all met later in the Oak to exchange notes, oily rag versus perennials. 

More and more modifications

Ultimately, this was the state of the car when we first pulled it out from the garage in Liverpool. Upon the discovery of this major fault Chris immediately assumed that to solve this problem would be insurmountable, inevitably bringing the entire project to an abrupt end. 

But, he had not banked on the ingenuity of Colin. He has now totally re-designed the rear chassis of the car. The fabricated outriggers extend from the main box section to include end brackets together with triangular cross supports. This re-formed section concludes the spine of the entire chassis. The petrol tank has been relocated and lowered by 20cms promising a lower centre of gravity, which also, incidentally, has exposed a genuine boot space. Additional side brackets fastened directly to the chassis and the new rear outriggers has removed all of the initial problems that resulted in the tub twisting. Other changes have made to the front and side of the chassis to balance the improvements to the rear. By fixing extension brackets to the middle outriggers that connect to the new front bumper ensures that the front wings now have secure fastening points that are rigid even when the car is at speed.

 All of these modifications have greatly improved not only the strength of the chassis but also the stability of the tub. The car as a result will handle like a professionally researched and designed vehicle. The expertise that Colin and Chris have in the field of constructing ‘racing’ vehicles will confirm that this will be the case.

There have also been cosmetic refinements to the body panels; by identifying and rectifying existing blemishes has consequently expanded their aesthetic values. The scuttle is now permanently fixed to the tub, the rear quarters have been altered to accurately follow the line of the body and the bonnet and nose cone have been raised by 3cms to improve their relationship to the front wings. To facilitate the connection of the fuel hose the petrol cap access has been moved to the lower left of the boot and, finally, extra adjustable fixing brackets will assist the levelling of the tub to the chassis, enabling it to sit perfectly straight. These adjustments have cleaned up the lines and have accentuated the naturally sexy look of the entire vehicle. This Burlington promises to be the best in the world.    

Chassis mods by Colin the wizard

Tues.25.04.06. I have returned from my French visit but before dashing up to Westmead I had spent the morning busily catching up with the accumulated paperwork of the past three weeks. It was 1.30 before I could ultimately witness all of the wonderful work that had been achieved on the Burlington. Chris, proudly, showed me around the car. He had certainly not exaggerated the quality of Colin’s work. 

The original rear outriggers carved away by Richard, have now been fashioned perfectly to become the angled front members. The front bumper bar has been designed to also the incorporate wing supports, radiator mountings and retro front outriders. When the radiator is in place the flow of air channelled through the engine compartment will disperse evenly aiding the stability and improving the road holding virtues of the car. The rear chassis of the car has been totally transformed. 

On Haydn Davies formative design, the rear quarter in addition to the boot space had not been attached to the car. Over the years, this had caused the body tub to twist, as the only two fasteners to the rear spring turret had worked loose. The high position of the fuel tank meant that even the weight of less than a part full tank of petrol, continuously swishing from one side to the other, had also contributed to the tub becoming warped. The force had shifted the rear quarter over to the left by several centimetres creating the permanent disfigurement of the body tub to the chassis. 

Detailed planning

Sun.16.04.06. Whilst in France I have spoken to Chris, who, with Colin was occupied in the early stages of re-designing the chassis. He assures me that the proposed modifications will not only improve the stability and balance but also the strength.

Mon.24.04.06. Colin Brockbank has spent 6 days, with Chris, altering the chassis as well as tweaking the body panels. The car now lies much straighter on the chassis. 

Haste makes waste.

Weds.05.04.06.  By 8.30am Chris had phoned to ask me to bring a detailed sander but also, if possible, to buy two more adjustable trestles stands from ‘Aldi’. The extra stands would enable the body tub to be positioned directly next to the chassis enabling work to continue on both elements simultaneously. I arrived back at Westmead to find him ecstatic at the prospect of tackling the first serious assessment of the chassis. Regrettably, he also stated that the rigours of the trip to Sheffield had left him totally stressed, so much so that his doctor had recommended that he increased his medication to counteract his current high blood pressure to protect his, already, fragile health. 

As I began to assemble the new stands I suddenly realised that I was fast running short of time if I was to meet the deadline of my journey south. As a result, I cut my thumb on the Stanley knife that I was using to unwrap the box. The blood flowed everywhere, shite. Immediately, Chris mentioned that “haste makes waste” and that “more haste, less speed”; surprisingly these golden rules had escaped me at the same time as the basic rule of, “always cut away from your self”. But, even explaining that I was not a child but an experienced craftsperson, Chris remained most unimpressed. 

The stands completed we lifted the chassis in place. It did look quite excellent as it rested there waiting for the ‘laying on’ of expert hands. 

Around 2.0pm Jo and I departed for London to stay with Gemma and Paul and then onto France for a well-earned Easter break. 

The first rub is the deepest

Weds.26.04.06. The front and rear wings together with the rest of the body panels have been made ready for the final preparation before being removed from the car then taken to Gordon the painter. It has been a day of rubbing down firstly the boot then alternatively the wings with 80’s followed by 130’s to flatten off the ‘tete’ . After which wet and dry was used to produce a baby’s arse texture. I also phoned Johnson and Potter of Edinburgh, who are Morgan agents, regarding various lighting parts as well as ‘retro’ over-riders for the car. Where possible we want to be able to fit the best and most appropriate parts to the car, so contacting main suppliers has become something of a priority. ‘Dave and Ian’ promised to get back to me with some prices, but I suspect selling ‘works’ parts for a ‘non-works’ model would be regarded as high treason within Morgan circles, probably banishing the pretentious Scotsmen to Hell, or for the rest of their working lives, selling ‘Nissan Micras’. So, I suspect, fat chance. 

Better news, however, came from Europa parts who will send me their current catalogue which contains many of the cosmetic stuff that will enhance the appearance of the car. 

Alls well that ends well.

Search Amazon.com for angle grinder accessories

 I requested the return of my deposit, Richard agreed. Unwillingly, we decided that the chassis that we had formally toiled to see deserved one last look, feeling that the journey across the moors should not be an absolute disaster. The chassis was up ended for closer inspection; just as Richard had promised it was genuinely original seeming to be better than we first thought. We decided to buy it. Richard disappeared into his office to return with a huge 12 inch angle grinder, a ski cap plus semi-opaque plastic glasses.

The prime reason for the safety gear was because it was necessary to remove the rear outriggers, to both fit in the van but more importantly, to fulfil the spec of the Burlington. Sparks flashed everywhere, job done. 

Richard and I carried the chassis over broken, terminal twisting wrecks, pools of congealed oil interspersed by abandoned rusting engines to our waiting Transit. A little bubble rap supplemented by decaying carpets protected the van from damage. We were still in credit from the telephone transfer so there followed some negotiation for a workshop manual, plastic indicator cowlings, front suspension wishbones together with a handbrake, which eventually concluded all the transactions. We calculated that we owed Richard £65.00p, Chris gave him £60.00p and Richard gave us £5.00p back. This was a result, either we gained £5.00p or Richard has poor numerical skills. 

 The Goth, perfectly content in her micro bubble, continued to dismantle the head as we left for the motorway at 6.15 pm.

Neither happy or sad, up or down, just shell shocked harbouring a little disappointed, still not knowing whether or not we had made a huge mistake. We discussed the merits or not of the chassis on the way back to Lancashire. After dropping the chassis at Westmead we returned to the Transit hastily moving on to the Oak.

 Chris recounted our adventure on planet Sheffield to anyone who was polite enough to listen. Later that evening Chris phoned me to tell me, that after a thorough investigation, the chassis was in fact the ‘dog’s bollocks’. Success.