Castor and Camber

Sat.11.07.09. It has been necessary to touch base once more with Max of Totally Triumph. Surprisingly amicable he took me into the darker recesses of his workshop where he instantly laid his gnarly hands on the front and rear suspension shims that I required. I had instantly opened the door for one of his ‘here sayeth the Lord’ soliloquies, after I had explained the reason for the request. “You must always have odd numbers of shims on front suspension unit. For example 3 on the back, 2 on the front, keep a differential of 1 all the time. This will affect not just the camber but the castor as well. It is better to have either 1 degree negative or at most neutral on the front. 

On the rear only have perhaps one eighth or one quarter of an inch on a drop test of negative, in other words 1.5 degrees. Never have larger wheels than 4.5 J’s or tyres greater than 155 to obtain maximum handling, forget those fuckin’ big wheels that those fuckers at Jigsaw always recommend, the car will just spin, they know fuck all about real Triumphs. Believe me, that is how the car should be set up!” Listening intently in an attempt to compute all of this information I had almost forgotten that we needed 2x 13lbs radiator caps, but as before Max scooped up a pair of brand new units.

I left with 8 front and 4 rear shims plus the caps for £10.00. Max had the last word, “Bring the car down, I’ll have a look, if you want, but don’t forget what I have told you, camber and castor are very important!”  

Later in the Oak the sermon was passed on, chapter and verse, to Chris, who calmly responded with, “He’s wrong, his logic is shite, but I know where he’s coming from.”  

DVLA Manchester

Thurs.09.07.09. This morning is the long awaited meeting with DVLA at Manchester. This could be a wonderful or a shite day. The chunks may be opened tonight or thrown in the bin

The directions to the Manchester office of the DVLA were not the best but we managed to make the deadline of 10.30pm. We had previously travelled down the M6, M62, M602, then into Trafford and finally onto Chester road. Throughout the journey I had gained additional confidence whilst driving the Burlington. The steering is responsive, there is little or no vibration, the vehicle feels tight and assured, just as if this was a modern production sports car. 

The over engineering, designed jointly by Chris and Colin proved that all the painful hours had been well spent.

Mr Femi proved to be a jovial mild mannered Afro Caribbean person. After I had pointed out the car a broad smile filled his face. “What a beautiful machine, can I buy it?” were his first remarks after a closer inspection. There was an initial mistrust regarding the ID number which was not included on any part of the registration document, but, the chassis number along with the engine number were obviously correct so he was left with only the task of  merely filling in the rest of the details. The colour was noted, the mileage as well as the fact that it did not have a hood. 

We had become something of an attraction on the car park as other candidates for inspection gathered around. “It’s a Morgan,” one person declared, “no it’s not, a Morgan is a ‘kit’, this car is the real thing,” said another. Mr. Femi asked, “How should I describe it?” upon which, both Chris and I simply said, ‘Triumph Burlington Convertible?’, “That sounds good enough for me,” repeated Mr Femi, it certainly was good enough for us. The inspection took less than fifteen minutes most of which was spent by Sami Femi asking how we had done this and that, how long did it take to complete the build, how much did it cost? One of the bystanders reckoned that it must be worth at least £25000, to which we agreed. 

After several photographs the meeting was ended, very amicably.  A report will be sent to Swansea verifying the findings of the inspection; with a little luck I should receive my new registration document within 2 weeks. But, the fat lady has not yet sung. 

The MOT continues

The test continued without much of a hic cup. The lights were good even though they conformed to French ‘regs’, the brakes just about stopped the vehicle, the CO2 emissions were not required on a car of this age and since there was no windscreen, wipers or washers were not necessary. But the prime concern was that of the tracking; which was 2.5 degrees out of alignment. Kevin attempted to adjust the track whilst on the ramp but this really was just a guessing game and soon this approach was abandoned. The car had past the MOT with only 11km on the clock. However there were a few recommendations that should be undertaken ‘as soon as’. The rear handbrake cable should be protected by a metal shroud as it passed through the body before travelling to the hub together with, once the car has settled, tuned properly, the emissions should then conform to modern regulations. But, worryingly, the initial tracking was hopelessly incorrect.

When Kevin returned to the workshop he tackled the problem of the out of line front wheels. The nearside was grossly ‘positive camber’ whilst the offside front was the opposite. With a few adjustments to both followed by the ‘pad test’ it seemed that both were aligned within 1.5 of neutral camber, which at this stage was genuinely ‘OK’. On Kevin’s advice I whizzed the Burlington up the road for a ‘settling in’ test. The handling was totally different. The ride was straight, uncomplicated, comfortably firm; the car felt 100% better. Most importantly she felt safe. We thanked Kevin, paid £40.00 for the test plus all the work on the tracking, but at the same time planned a convoluted route back to Standish, to test the car further.

The car has experienced its first full tank of unleaded petrol; the open road is before us. From Eccleston we travelled to Robin Hood lane so that the ‘two mile stretch’ past the ‘Duck ponds’ would allow the overdrive to be engaged. By this time I was becoming quite confident increasingly accustomed to the wide gate of the box, the spongy brakes and the idiosyncrasies of the back end twitching, but immediately returning to the correct line. Going so well, the decision to drive the four miles down the motorway to Orrell wasn’t in doubt. And so we did. The openness of the cockpit plus the peripheral protection from the ‘aero screens’ meant that we were buffeted relentlessly, nevertheless the underlying strength of the reinforced chassis together with the robust body tub kept the car glued to the road. With the overdrive engaged in top gear the engine roared along at 3000 revs.

Unbelievable! The final technical set up will only improve every aspect of the vehicle. Presently, the vehicle is possibly at its worst, the best is yet to come. We returned north again using the Motorway to Westmead in an attempt to analyse the wealth of data from just a short ‘maiden journey’. 

The day of the MOT

Wed.08.07.09. This day has been quite memorable or should have been?

Chris had arranged a rendezvous at 2.00pm at Robinson and Douglas for an MOT. The garage is that of Slick or Kevin which is his proper name. This would have been the Burlington’s first ‘real’ journey of 7 miles down the road to Coppull. We left Westmead approximately 1.45pm with trepidation; plus a mild sense of excitement. 

Curiously, I felt neither exuberance nor concern, the reasons for this lack of ‘buss’ still remains, couched in confused, muddled notions. The car drove extremely badly. Both of the front wheels screamed as if they didn’t really know which direction they should be travelling, the back end responding to every pot hole by lurching left or right. It felt quite unsafe but we did manage to arrive on time for the test.

Under the guidance of Kevin, young Danny would execute the various tests, which add up to the sum total of the ‘ticket’. After punching in the chassis number of the vehicle the response from the computer was that of instant denial, the car did not register with the DVLA. The test could not continue without this vital detail or the date of the original registration. 

Much to our relief a quick call to Jo with the request to recover my photocopied documents revealed that the final two letters of the chassis number were missing from the ‘commission plate’ that Chris had earlier fashioned. Also, the first date of registration, again vital for the test to commence, could be easily accessed.

So close!

Mon.06.07.09. Chris has punched out the ID plate for the car. It only remains to fit the rear number plate bracket and lights so that an MOT can be carried out at ‘Slick’s’ on Tuesday.

Arriving back from London I was pleasantly surprised that a letter from Haydn Davies endorsing the ‘history’ of the vehicle had landed on the mat alongside the details of the inspection at Manchester DVLA on Thursday. I have also been offered a quote from ‘Adrian Flux’, the original insurers of the vehicle back in 1980. A fully comprehensive policy with both UK and European cover is only £174.04.

If the car undergoes its MOT tomorrow, but more importantly, provided that there are no more hidden fuckups we should be able to make the rendezvous on Thursday. Oddly, Mr Femi has recommended that it would be wise to bring trade plates so that I can safely return to Standish without being ‘pulled’ by the police. “It’s a fine state of affairs when I am requested to present the vehicle at the DVLA for identification purposes, a vehicle that I have owned for the past 31 years when it is legal to drive the car there but not to drive it back; fuckin bonkers!” I am beginning to sound too much like Chris but I can now also fully understand his total distrust of this organisation; supporting the premise that ‘it does not seem to think or act logically’. If this final hurdle requires supreme grovelling I am more than happy to bend over and be fisted.

Tues.07.07.09. Last night, in the Oak, Salty was organising his annual ‘backslapping’ tour to the Lake District. Various venues were discussed but all had the ever-present drawbacks. No doubt the ‘Captain’ will have the last word. I can’t believe that the event has come around so quickly. C’est la fucking vie. Returning to the minor issues of the car I have successfully located the illusive distributor/coil clips at Ledsons. This is very ancient stock. I had previously been informed that it would be impossible to find such items as most modern leads are constructed from carbon fibre as opposed to an inner wire core. These clips will now enable Chris to shorten the HT leads making the unit much tidier.

We were due to go to ‘Slick’s’ today for the MOT but the rain descended so the visit had to be called off until tomorrow. Bummer. 

Getting closer

                                  Burlington Diary July 2009.

Weds.01.07.09. I have spoken to Mr Alim at Manchester DVLA, who at present is the vehicle inspector, but who, frustratingly, hands over the controls on Friday to a new person. To ensure that the verification procedure of the Burlington is performed before July 15^th I must call back on the 3^rd to see if the ‘new guy’, who could be a total ‘arsehole’ would want to inspect on Friday 10^th of July. The quandary of choosing the fresh arsehole is that he or she could be either an apposite, pedantic, officious, frightened fucker or just a dumbshit greenhorn who may pass the vehicle without a problem: but I do suspect he would have the disposition of the former. 

Fri.03.07.09. Jo and I have travelled to London to spend some valuable time with our wonderful grandchild, Samuel: but, whilst being there I have phoned Mr Alim in order to speak directly to his predecessor. His name is Sami Femi Osipitan. He sounds quite genial expressing the view that there should not be a problem with the inspection. Since I have owned the vehicle for 31 years, the car has a rolling chassis rather than a monocoque structure therefore eliminating the threat of the dreaded ‘cut and shut’ procedure as well as given that the engine identification numbers have remained exactly the same, I should not fall foul of the regulations. We have made a provisional meeting for 10.30am on Thursday the 9^th of July. In the meantime, the vehicle should be examined for MOT purposes and also insured.

To strengthen my claim of authenticity Chris also feels that if I could obtain a written statement from Haydn Davies explaining the provenance of the vehicle together with a brief description of the construction techniques, importantly on letter headed note paper, this may go a long way if the DVLA decide to dig their heels in, forcing us down the route of the infamous ‘Q’ plate. 

The car is finished?

                                    Burlington Diary June 2009

Mon.01.06.09. The new boot lining has been tested in the car. With the removal of the extended 10mm rear edge the box fits perfectly. The ‘C’ spanner is the wrong size and needs to be returned to Demon Tweeks in exchange for the correct 1.9 inches model. The fabrication of the seat belt brackets has been undertaken by Catterall and Wood, but the ‘milling’ of the rear suspension block has been offered to ‘Holly Farm’ who specialise in such work. The block will retain both profiles but will be reduced from 20mm to 10mm. Both units will be available tomorrow for £10.00 and £25.00 respectively.

Unfortunately we leave for Tarascon in a few days to tie up the loose ends from the sale of the house, so I suspect that progress will be suspended.

Mon.29.06.09. On a separate issue we have returned from France with all the legal worries behind us, the bulk of the furniture has been stored at the Blanchesserie, sold or given away. The Gilberts are now not moving in, as originally planned, the date for the final ‘acte’ has been changed to the 24.07.09 ten days after the initially proposed appointment. Our new house in St. Martin du Tartre in Burgundy is almost habitable; there is a simple WC and wash basin with the possibility of a ‘camping-field’ kitchen plus ‘candle’ light there should be sufficient facility. Fast Eddie has his feet almost under the table with an American woman adding to the posse of ladies he has scattered over France and Spain: Lola of Horadada, Rumunia of Latvia and now perhaps Catherine Tate of Vallebregues. The promise of free labour in exchange for sustenance encourages these transient liaisons.

But, more significantly Chris has informed me that the car is finished.

Tues.30.06.09. A visit to Westmead confirmed this fact. Most of the detail has been completed: the cockpit tidied, the bonnet fasteners attached, the re-assembly of the boot space, the number plates are fixed, but more critically, the ‘drop tests’ for wheel alignment with the final technical corner weighting has been almost achieved. There are the obvious road tests, the dreaded DVLA approval, the MOT, plus undoubtedly other minor snags, but essentially the car is in fact ready for the road. The events in France over the past year together with the growing belief that we would never reach this stage dulls the moment, but I feel sure that sometime in the very near future the realisation will sink in.