Fri.24.08.07. I have spent most of the day shaping the console. The indentations have been filled with a mixture of PVA with MDF sawdust. This proves to be the ideal natural ‘filler’. It is always prudent to retain any of the sawdust that is created from previous modelling: this can be combined with PVA to create the perfect natural filler, the texture and colour accurately matching the piece that has been constructed. When sanded down the patched areas seamlessly blend into the required form to achieve a faultless finish. That is my tip for the day; I hope that you enjoyed.
Mon 27.08.07. The bank holiday weekend has passed; the console has been finely shaped, fingers crossed it should pass muster. Colin has installed the steering column bearing in the left hand side of the bulkhead. He has also completed the fastening brackets for the dash. Due to the length of the steering rod it may be necessary to position another bearing close to ‘rack end’ to ensure increased stability plus greater sensitivity throughout the entire system.
Pigfest.
The Doc had arranged the first tasting of the murdered hogs in the form of a spit roast. The first criminal to be offered was, appropriately, Steve McQueen, the rebellious leader of the rampaging pack of porkers who in one single foray had totally destroyed Adele’s lawn. He was the runt of the litter but clearly was the smartest. Just like many small people, deceitfully sharp, unpredictably aggressive, thrusting, determined, yet infuriatingly, always successful. ‘Never trust a small, forty year old male in any situation’ is an adage that always rings true. Consider, for instance, Napoleon, Adolf, Edward G Robinson, Charlie Drake, Jimmy Clitheroe and Psycho Colin.
The roasting tray was constructed from a rusting oil drum, the mechanism being constructed from one seven foot length of scaffolding supported on either end by two metal bar stools. The charcoal was piled on to the floor directly beneath the skewered animal, lit rather leisurely at one o’clock, which was not the proposed stating time. The average cooking period is approximately 8 hours so the optimum target starting time was, in fact, 9pm. But, Paul and the Doc had spent the previous night consuming several bottles of Cointreau complemented by infinite cups of strong black coffee presumably planning the job, honing every detail with military precision. The delay meant that when guests arrived late in the afternoon the pig was far from ready. Typically, accusations were aimed towards the tardy chefs who by now were regularly turning their ‘home made’ contraption in a futile attempt to cheat time: the limbs limply swaying as the joints opened, the spinal core bending precariously with every little rotation. The ingredients were ideal for the gathering ‘man’ crowd. There was fire, wood, blood raw meat all ‘held together’ with sharpened stakes, a creaking weakened platform roughly bound by garden wire. It wasn’t long before Lowtie, Cockney Mick and Doctor Dave were rendering the original protagonists obsolete taking command of the rudderless, floundering shipwreck lowering the chard carcass onto the hot coals, thus defying the sensible, cautious ‘slow cook’ method. The hot fat ignited on impact, smoke and flame filled the immediate space, the crowd fled to the comfort of the bar. Once it became safe to return, sadly, what remained was a blackened smouldering cinder, a million miles away from the promised succulent, juicy, tender, appetising chunks of pork. Slowly, one by one, excuses were made, rats slipped away, Elvis has left the building.
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