Welcome 2008

                               Burlington Diary January 2008

Weds.02.01.08. Michael has finally started back to work. Thankfully he has returned from Mars with a blood change, a refreshed, reconfigured brain; he was also quite prepared to discuss the matter of the panels and tunnels. There appears to be no problem with the work. He will put some padding and pleats in the door panels similarly he will round off the tunnels to enhance the smooth shape.

                                Burlington Diary February 2008

Fri.01.02.08. I have returned from working in France; going back to the tenant’s perpetual ignorant oblivion to the faults around the house. So much so I spent the first three days repairing electric lights and fans, cleaning floors and pouring gallons of bleach down every conceivable orifice. But I managed to lay 16 metres of ‘beton’ preparing a patio area for later tiling together with, hopefully, the base to my workshop. I still have a constant war with the pigeons who settle at the bottom of my courtyard consequently after every departure they quickly repossess their roosts resulting in the need to shoot the ‘dirty bastards’ upon my return. I have erected a green curtain that now stretches the full width of the platform to form a barrier which ‘may’ dissuade them from entering the roof space. Fat chance.

There has been absolutely no progress on the car as Chris has been awaiting the many newly fabricated components plus the freshly ordered cosmetic parts that have been covering my dining room floor since December. I have found it increasingly difficult to deliver these ‘bits’ knowing that they would always become lost in the rest of the debris that litters the workshop. The body tub still remains separated from the chassis so until such time they become one unit the outstanding parts will reside with me. But, after speaking to Chris earlier in the morning it has been decided that we need to produce another ‘work schedule’ to encourage one last push in order to complete the project. 

The brighter news of the day arrived, thankfully when I visited Nigel to discover that he had painted the remaining bonnet and nose cone; after one final ‘buff’ they will be ready for collection on Tuesday morning. Manic Michael has not yet begun the door and tunnel panels as he has been ‘snowed under’ with work having only recently returned from a ‘mind refit’ on Planet Aspull. His communication skills have vastly improved as he now can complete a ‘five word’ sentence without a pause both convincingly, cheerfully and coherently.

Naturally, when visiting the Bowling Green in the evening there was a month of news to catch up with, particularly with regard to the ‘drain’ progress down at the Oak. In fact, typically, there has been absolutely no building work even attempted over the past four weeks, the latest forecast is that ‘appen’ they will begin next week. Cockney Mick travels to London tomorrow for 8am to ‘sawt awt a job’ returning at midday to straighten ap anuvva one, where all the walls are pissed ‘an arfta be sawted awt by usin’ tiles to measure the anguls, then ave five pints, slow cook an Indian ‘an knock ap a Thai. The ‘Doc’ has continued to be pragmatic about his lot but still finds time to become ‘pertinent and relevant’, unfortunately, because he has free reign to consume as much alcohol as he is able he now discharges breath that could kill a horse at ten paces. The foul odour can be likened to wild hogs reared on dead fish. To be trapped in a corner bombarded with rank humming gibberish is certainly not a pleasant option. Dedicatedly, Salty still controls his own small empire, Lewis has fallen foul of the law again, Knocker endeavours to bed every woman in Greater Manchester reeling them in by flashing his member at every opportunity, Lowtie remains in self exile, ‘The Awkward Squad’ have broken up once more, Mad John has been in permanent shutdown, Chris continues to constantly harass the bar staff about the poor quality lager, David keeps his own council and the Preacher preaches. So, not much change there!