Saturday 11 February 2012

Fat bankers of Zurich


Fri.12.10.07. Earlier in the morning I contacted Louisa of ‘Woolies’ to request samples of trim that we need in order to ‘finish certain areas of the car’. Expecting a substantial order she kindly agreed to send all the examples we required.

·      Large black PVC edging 15mm x 12.5mm, top trim the edge of the cockpit
·      Miniature black PVC over rider 4.7 mm, for the aluminium panels in the engine bay.
·      Samples of 3 qualities and colours of carpet.
·      3mm rubber sheet to be used between the body tub and chassis. 
The windscreen rubber mounting which Louisa could not help us with is now being provided by Life’s Motors at an approximate cost of £14.25?
However, most of the morning had been taken up with the fine detail work on the undertrim. The lower contoured curve was once again produced by the router. On this occasion I extended the ends to allow the router to flow as far as the furthest point thus creating a full length profile. With a little more ‘filling’ on the back plate the unit was totally prepared for Richie to apply his bobbin sander to create perfect inner and outer console curves. The trim appears ‘daintier’ than previous models making the prospect of matching the unit to entire dash not inconceivable. Richie has also applied a range of stains and lacquer to an off cut, utilising tones of brown, red and green. The test has revealed some interesting results, in that; all the stains have hidden the grain removing much of the timbers natural charming quality, its basic attraction.
The bank fiasco of 12.10.07. We have had £64,000 in a reserve account set aside to pay for the purchase of the barn conversion in Burgundy. For the past three weeks we have delayed transferring the money across to France because the euro has been soaring, the rates that we have been offered have been paltry. We have now regrettably run out of time we must send the wedge this week. So, for most of this week we have been gauging the fortunes of the euro in an attempt to select the optimum time to dispatch the money. Because it is such a large amount we are in fact entitled to a higher rate of exchange, a commercial rate as opposed to tourist. When first applying an indication rate is offered, if this is suitable then the client, either accepts or rejects the proposal. This deal is completed whilst in direct contact with the dealer: that is how the system works! 
The bank details of the French ‘notaire’ had been posted three weeks previously. It is essential that he receives the entire amount, via an electronic order, prior to the sale of the barn. On Monday I had completed the ‘Compulsory International Bank Transfer’ including all the correct account details, ‘SWIFT’ numbers plus all the relevant contact addresses. Procedure dictates that the form must be presented to the bank to verify that all I had written was sufficient and accurate. Throughout the week several employees of the Nat West, Rachel, Tracy and Darren had proof read the document clearing the application. Everything was now in place, so that when I did choose an opportune moment to send the draft it would not be necessary to check the details therefore saving valuable time. The daily cut off point for this type of transaction is 4pm, so when I arrived in the bank at 2.40 I naturally assumed I had enough time to complete the procedure.
Darren requested my ID together with a relevant bankcard to initiate the transfer, but he was unable to do so because I had failed to include the ‘Iban’ code, which meant the transfer, could not be validated. I became somewhat agitated since during the week other employees had not spotted this problem. Each in turn repeated was that it was “my responsibility to include all the correct details,” but,
“You have told me all week that the information was correct!”
“It is not our responsibility; the client must include an IBAN code.”
“But on the form it says account number or Iban”.
“You have filled it in incorrectly.”
“Please, listen to me, you said it was okay, but regrettably you do not seem to be answering my question which is, why has it been ‘ok’ all week yet suddenly when it goes into the back room, to ‘Sandra’, it is not ok?”
By this time it was 3.10pm, I had been in the bank for 30 minutes. It appeared that they did not to realise that it was imperative that the form should be sent today or even grasp the importance of the transaction I naturally became quite annoyed. The alternative perhaps, obvious choice, was to send the money directly to my bank in France hoping that the ‘notaire’ would accept a cheque on the day. I hastily phoned Jo who could supply our details from past transfers; which she duly did. But, having considered all the issues we did, however, decide to risk the details provided by the ‘notaire’ for fear of jeopardising the contract. Darren by this time was hiding in the back room so, after some rude exchanges with Carol, who threatened to call security, as soon as she had removed the brush steel that was stuck right up her arse, also found something else to do. As a consequence, I beckoned ‘bright Julie’ from the front desk to submit the transfer. But, for insurance, I still completed an additional form in my name just in case everything went ‘tits up’. Julie returned to announce proudly that she had sent it.
 “You’ve already sent it! But I have not been offered a rate, that’s the way it works, don’t you know that! This is going from bad to worse, unfuckinbelievable!”
She scurried back to where she had come from, less pleased with both my terse response along with her foolish mistake, the triumphant smile wiped from her face. Finally at 3.58pm Sandra, the ‘transfer queen’ together with Andrea, the bank manager, immerged still defiantly defending their position. 

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