Down at the Oak it was a lively night that reinforced all the reasons why we love the place so much. The assembled crowd included Lewis, Knocker, David, Rembrandt, Andrew, Salty, the Doc, Chris, of course, Emma and Dan, her new boyfriend (it won’t last) and Jimmy the Axe. The main topic of conversation was proud Knocker’s recent acquisition of an ‘apartment’ on Wigan Lane at the brand new ‘Manor House’ development.
The gathered attentive group had something to say about Knocker’s grand ideas
· Does he need a passport to move from Whelley to WN1?
· His reservoir view is below the water line.
· He is located on the ground floor but he still uses the lift, because it is there.
· He has Tim Hiltons mother and father next door.
· A course of electrocution lesson and a new wardrobe is vital.
· He must get rid of his whippets, ferrets and budgie.
· It is a ‘chick magnet’ but he must insist that he owns all the property boldly claiming that his staff occupies the remainder of the building.
· He’ll need to park his works van outside the compound, as they don’t allow trade vehicles an overnight stay within the grounds of the complex.
· The flat was originally one of Lewis’s property mistakes, and as there is such a obscene glut of apartment buildings in the area the price can only go down.
· To celebrate his newfound class status everyone clubbed together to buy him a disgustingly brightly coloured cocktail, complete with umbrella.
· His 40-inch plasma TV occupies all the space on one wall balanced evenly on the opposite wall by a CD station. As he can touch both sides of the wall with his arms are outstretched he is able to control both appliances simultaneously.
· He has a dishwasher but no washing machine because his staff ‘do’ all his washing.
· Hurry! Only one last plot remaining.
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