Lewis, reluctant hero?

Andy Lewis, over the weekend, has become the hero of the Oak. The tale of ‘Sherbert Dip’ had lifted his profile but the ‘Clamper’ story has elevated him into cult status. Having bought a quantity of meat from Chadwicks, Master butchers and total Flakes of Standish, he crossed the road to briefly chat to a friend. Upon his return he realised that his truck had been clamped; the two foolish officials smiling and standing by the vehicle waiting to collect the fine. “You left your car without permission and we’ve been forced to clamp it”. Andy suggested that they remove the offending clamp as he had only just left the shop and had been momentarily distracted by a friend on the opposite side of the road. “Sorry mate, can’t be done, that’s fifty quid if you don’t mind”. Calmly, Andy repeated his request but was met with much of the same spurious, company jargon. “I’m only doing my job, mate”. In response Andy opened the boot of his van, lifted out two bags of shopping rapidly returning the recently purchased meat to the store: punctuating his demand by “Money back, now!” Fully reimbursed but also supplemented by a following, quickly assembled and curious crowd of onlookers, Andy had unfinished business back on the car park. Reaching into the van once more he produced a twelve inch Stihl saw. “What are you going to do with that?” asked number one fool. “Only my job” returned Andy. “This is private property, you can’t do that” pleaded number two fool. “Watch me”. The bars holding the clamp to the wheel fell away instantly; the two major halves were then ceremoniously carved up, thrown and booted across the car park. The Chadwicks screamed for police assistance, the attendants scratched their heads and the crowd cheered; as did the gang in the Oak.