Mon.04.12.06. Danny had returned my call around lunchtime to request the front wings for priming. Early in the afternoon Chris and I delivered one front wing and one half of the bonnet. The rear wings and nosecone need one final flat and can be stored at Nigel’s paint shop until the work has been completed. I have packed and dispatched the one and a quarter SU carbs to Andrew Turner who will return the reconditioned units next week. He actually does sound as if he knows what he is doing, but so have many others. The total cost, including exchange will be £195.00. Later in the day another list for Paddocks was formulated and yet another final ‘work schedule’ drawn up.
The afternoon took us, along with Dick, to Greenacres. Chris had underwritten a CRV which Dick would drive back to Alan’s for re-sale. It didn’t take long for Dick to inform us of his latest acquisitions from t’internet. “I’ve got the best Christmas gifts going” he boasted proudly, “clockwork wanking monkeys; you just wind them up and off they go!” “You’ve got what?” replied Chris, sounding slightly surprised and sceptical, but nevertheless was prepared to place an order. “Well, how many do you think I should buy for my 83 year old mother, and the sister I don’t speak to?” “No, you daft bugger, they’re ideal for ‘workies’ parties at Christmas. Just imagine giving everyone of your mates a small present at the ‘do’. Then, after four pints they would all open the package to discover the furry little beast; they’d love it, they’d piss themselves. Try to picture 30 blokes winding them up and letting them go. It would be a great laugh. Look, they ‘come’, Dick chuckled realising that he had mistakenly cracked a bad joke, no; they come in a box of 10 for 2 quid, but you can have 3 boxes for a fiver”.
“Bloody hell Dick, what kind of mates do you think I have? I’d be alright dishing them out in the Oak!” returned Chris, still unconvinced. Attempting to join the tête-à-tête I tentatively offered “What about cockney Mick, he puts up suspended ceilings and goes to Thailand for his holidays. He’d be good for some?” “Are you going friggin’ mad as well, you’re as bad as Dick!” Chris, at this point, had thought that he had put an end to the dialogue but Dick responded with his alternative Yuletide offering; a ‘radio with a clock’, that only has a two day lifespan. These came in at 3 quid each or 2 quid if a bulk order was placed: in other words any more than one. “Don’t you mean a clock radio?” ventured Chris. “No, you can’t exactly refer to them by that name because they don’t precisely work in conjunction with each other. If better batteries were installed they might just function as they ought to, but at the moment the radio works or the clock works, but never at the same time” explained clever Dick. “Stop, stop, stop, I can’t stand any more of this, it’s getting friggin’ worse. Any way how much did you pay for them?” Chris asked, still curiously intrigued by Dick’s business acumen. “I bought 150 for £1.70p each, they were a steal”. Chris then, politely informed Dick that to he would need to sell at least 120 before he was in profit. Selling the full lot he would net a phenomenal £40.00 for an outlay of £255.00. “Yeah, it’s great, in’ it” smiled Dick rubbing his hands together.
“Beam me up Scotty”.
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